It’s that time of year again,
Its Back to School this week!

Another year older, boys moving closer to becoming men
and girls slowly becoming women.
I know…STOP the train, slow it down!! But I guess, as we get older, so do our children.

As FaceBook was blown up with first day of photo pics, I saw family resemblances
SHINE so bright, children who were preschoolers, finally making their way to
Kindergarten.

Then there were the children who clearly have surpassed my height…..
AND I wondered,
what do they feel?
As Moms…what do we feel? How do we love, and protect…..

I feel excitement, a little worry, will they fit in….I want the best for my boys….we all do, for our children. And then I ask myself…what is this thing about ‘fitting’ in….is it my stuff or not? What I know to be true, is when we guide our children, provide opportunities for them to explore and shine their own light, do what is fun and exciting..they will meet other kids and ‘belong’ too….as we LOVE the hockey sticks out of them.

Moving to Kamloops has been a gift. Our family together every night and every morning. I look forward to the back to school routine, my husband gets the boys breakfast while I do lunches…its sooooo easy.

I get to walk William to kindergarten and do pickup, and for that I am grateful. Getting to see his face, in seconds feel the energy and wonder of his day….same thing with Johnny and Matt. I get to extend my work day in the morning or at night, to allow for this 5 minute jaunt and play in the school yard to have this connection with the boys…..I am sooo lucky.

They know the drill, “what was your favorite part? Anything you would have liked to be different or changed? and of course I am adding to this….”when was your teacher smiling today, when was she upset? What did you play at recess, with who?” those are the moments that fill up my day, my heart…when my boys spew all about their days.

The other thing that I love about where we live…..I hear the bell ring…..I can see the top of the school, the flag flying on the flag pole from the kitchen. I can hear the rumble and chatter of the kids on the playground.

This year, every time I hear the bells at the school, when class starts, recess, and lunch time…..I am going to stop, notice, and appreciate this closeness to the school, and the opportunity to breathe, to appreciate, and slow down just a bit.

I know the more I connect to myself, the more I notice what I need throughout the day when the boys aren’t home….the more present I get to be when I am with them. It’s these luxiourious moments, that make the difference for me. It all starts with how I want to send my boys off in the morning and how I want to feel when I tuck them in at night.

It’s about the OUTCOME….I want them to feel loved, noticed, heard, and appreciated. As I send them off to school, and when I snuggle in close with each of them, I want them to FEEL all of that!! I feel light, fantastic, powerful, every day that I show up in this way as their MOM.

As MOMS, we get to create the feeling of love, nurturing, acceptance, and of course provide structure for our children…..

When it comes to back to school….what do you desire? What is your outcome for September…surviving the crazy, chaos, and being busy or do you deisre a balanced, blissfull Back to Shool?….

Listen up MOMS….it all starts with us!! We cannot create what haven’t envisioned…get clear on it…take some time..YOU have the time….what do you want for September. VISION it!

My next podcast release on Sept 17th is DIVING in DEEP into this….creating a Balanced Blissful Back to School. Stay tuned…

Not quite done……When you hear a school bell, think of me…..I will be PAUSING, noticing, what do I need as a mom, so that I can GIVE soooo much more to her children. And then I ask……What do you need, Mama?

What do you see when you look in the mirror?
IS it the beauty within and what we ALL see from the outside?
Or something else?

AND I am curious…..
Do you avoid looking
in mirrors,
reflections in windows of store fronts?
What thoughts come up for you?

Are they whispers of truth? Whispers of love?
Or are the quality of those thoughts tearing you down,
from the inside out?

OUR bodies are reflection of how we are living our life.
WE see them and for some of us, we blame our bodies, for being
TOO big, too small, too jiggly, too MUCH.

Ooooooohhhh OR what about NOT enough….not good enough, lean enough, strong enough. It really can span the entire spectrum. TRUST me my body shape has been so many sizes over the years!

WE blame the food,
because it calls us,
yells at us, and at times
whispers too…..

But it’s not our bodies fault, nor can we blame the FOOD.

It’s definitely not the food, or about WILL POWER and control. I REPEAT it’s not about WILL POWER and CONTROL!

The food is delivered to our bodies by the WOMEN we are, in the moments we are choosing to numb, to avoid, distract?

In the same breath….the food we eat also can nourish our bodies, for health, hunger, for pleasure.

WE get to choose…we GET to CHOOSE!

We glance in the mirror, notice the shape and quickly look away. I encourage you to be kind to the body that is guiding us on this life. IF we want to create a new shape, a different shape, I am curious….why? What is your intention? What will that shape provide you? BETTER yet, what do you want to FEEL in a shell, in a body that looks different than it is in this moment?

When I was 116 pounds 15 pounds lighter than I am now….I was not happy, I didn’t love my body and I was gaunt, I was lean, I look back and I cringe. There are people in my life that talk about days, like there was value in who I was at that size.

GUESS what…
NEWS flash — there is freaking value you in ME, in YOU at any and ALL SIZES!!

I am openning up this conversation for this weeks blog because I have been coaching so many women that are feeling unhappy, desiring to be a different SIZE or shape, and there is a focus on food and exercise. A desire to control.

Our body is a reflection of our experiences, our choices. We do not need to track calories, ketos, macros or any of that other stuff. STOP, notice, look in the mirror.
We don’t need to hit cardio heart rate zones…and push our bodies to the point of injury.

WE get to listen to our bodies. Learn to know, to feel what feels fantastic.
To learn to eat for health, hunger, and pleasure.
TO MOVE our bodies for fun, longevity, to get a kick*ss sweat on and run up a hill.
Because when I choose to do that…..I feel amazing, I feel alive, and any worries wittle away as I move each foot forward.

I am asking in you…
in this moment to be honest….
with me, and YOURSELF.
If you don’t like, love, or accept your reflection in the mirror.
BE honest about it. SAY it out loud, message me. Tell a friend.

FROM this place we can
shift, change, and notice
where in our world!
THEN I ask you…..can YOU, can WE show up with integrity.

Create the vision of how you want to feel…..your desired feeling when you look in the mirror. BE that, more often than you aren’t.

WITH INTEGRITY— DO what you want, and BE who you say you want to be.

TAKE action from that place, everyday…
NOURISH your body…don’t blame the food or will power!
FEEL the emotions that come up AND move your body.
Take messy action — go for a walk, hike, get outside.
It doesn’t matter how you do it, its the shift in energy that will guide your day.

Living in denial sucks, watching days pass by without movement feels heavy. RIGHT?? YOU know it does.
YOU are the only one that KNOWS it all!

What is truth and what is NOT in your world?
Let the reflection in your mirror be your guide
IF you desire something in this life…..
CREATE the opportunities in your world to experience it.

I want to leave you with this….
YOU are not alone, EVER in this struggle, in this grind, on this path.
Nourishing and moving our bodies…..MATTERS.
Be honest with yourself first and
then share with someone your intentions and why!
YOU will feel lighter I PROMISE….and then everything GETS to change.

There I was, in the middle of a coaching session…….and she said it,
“I know all about what to do, THE RIGHT STUFF, and the wrong stuff”.

SHE was angry, disappointed with herself because, blaming, and judging the last few weeks of her life. Turning to food late at night, knowing what she was doing, and ‘doing it anyway’. Saying YES to everyone, feeling so exhausted at the end of day, always, always, STARTING TOMORROW.

I STOPPED her right in her tracks, softly of course, but I was not going to let her spiral down, not when I saw so much growth.

One of the things I get so stoked about is observing, and having the perspective to see the sh*t women are going through, feeling, and struggling with AND getting to see their growth.

When we live on autopilot, cruising through life, barely noticing the drive to work, hurrying the kids off to school, going to work, putting in the time, only to come home, cook dinner, get lunches ready and chill with the family…..for some women, there is barely opportunity to be present and notice what we feel.

Barely enough time to fill our cup,
Barely enought time to notice the shifts,
Barely enought time to see our own growth!

UNTIL, someone….like me, says hey …..
I SEE YOU,
there is so much growth in the KNOWING, and feeling the ‘wrong stuff’,
BECAUSE that means you have the awareness, you are present and it feels SH*TTY!

What is the WRONG stuff anyway?? Where is the growth?
It’s the emotional eating, turning to food in the moments we don’t want to feel, when we just want to escape and have it ALL go away!
It’s the people pleasing, and feeling resentful about choices we make.
Its wearing that superwoman mask, so the world sees you as so freaking strong WHILE you are crumbling to pieces on the inside!

WHEN WE KNOW and feel this way…this WRONG stuff, IS the growth!
I get so excited because
when we are honest about what we feel,
we get to do, be, something different.
This is where the magic happens, the beginnings of transformation,
FROM the inside out.

Next time you are discouraged, because in your mind you failed,
when there was more ‘wrong’ stuff in your day, than right,
when you had a ‘bad’ day, with sprinkles of good and lightness,
ask yourself, be curious and
celebrate the GROWTH of this knowing.

YOU know and feel what its like to be in alignment, to be you, to do the RIGHT STUFF…..The FRUSTRATION is having that knowledge and ‘doing it anyway’ without the integration of all the wisdom you have learned.

MOMS…may I have your attention!!!
Growth is not a straight line,
be PATIENT,
show up with INTEGRITY more often than not, do and be who you say you want to be,
SURRENDER into what life has to offer when you are who you say you are.
And finally you gotta, you just gotta have AWARENESS and PRESENCE, to live this life to its fullest.

OTHERWISE, WHAT’S THE POINT? This is it, our one life. FREAKING notice it, LIVE it, ok, now I am getting sassy…..only because I care, only because I know too many Moms that are spending day after day NOT noticing what they are feeling and are too busy to slow it down and take action.

If you are reading this and this is YOU, show UP, for you life, it’s the only one you have. It’s my responsibility to share this message and be that voice for the woman inside, inviting you to BE you, BE here!

I love this image from the movie The Right Stuff….the space suits, worn to protect astronauts in harsh environments from the outside in space. GUESS what, so many of us are wearing a space suit too, but here on earth, a layer of armour …..that protects us feeling, being seen, and being hurt.

My space suit is long gone, I get to feel, the light, the bliss, the anger, the disapointment, oh yes and the fear of what if I fail. BUT if I just continue to live status quo, no growth, no risks, no feeling uncomforable…..that’s is soooo uninspiring.

But there is no difference between you and I. I am just a woman, just a mom, just a wife, who wanted a more vibrant life……to follow her passion to be ME, completely. AND part of that RIGHT stuff is about guiding Moms to be their best selves. I know it because I see it…………the struggle, the growth and the transformation.

Let the RIGHT stuff be, and the let WRONG stuff guide you in where you get to grow….
I ask you,
“Arent’ those amazing gifts that we get to learn ourselves the precious lessons that we can teach them to our children”
….ummmm the answer is YES!
That’s the RIGHT STUFF!

 

It’s 5:45…exactly 24 hours ago, I was sitting at the island in our kitchen, working as I always do. The quiet, the calm, the sunrising over the mountains, kissing the rooftoops of the homes below.

I tell my husband how I am loving and hating DOMS……delayed onset muscle soreness….I kicked my own butt on Monday. I am back to teaching fitness classes, woop woop! This break from the fitness GRIND, was a hiatus that I needed for my mind…but my body is feeling the absence from killing it in a group, plyometrics, high intensity, and intervals.

As he pours a coffee, I say to him…..
“when things slow down, and stop being so crazy, I want to………………..
SILENCE.
COMPLETE SILENCE
I stop myself in my own tracks, he asks….”are you going to finish your sentence?”
My response…
“THAT is total BULLSHIT. I do not have to wait for things to slow down, or calm down…..” What am I waiting for?
I CHOOSE how I live my life.
I GET to create the moments, with myself, my family and all around me.

THOSE ‘stolen’ moments of connection with my husband, when we hold hands and look into each others eyes for ‘reel’ as the kids play about, or when he brings me a wild flower from his morning walk because it’s purple and he thought of me….Snuggling on the couch and watching Johnny draw, wrestling with William, and being the goalie for Matt.

THOSE are kinds of moments that I want to fill up my life. Because when I FEEL full, of love, life, connection, the rest of my life feels that way too…..I don’t numb, there is distracting behaviours, I am just ME.

I know, I get it….I am not talking about living life in a fairytale, oblivious to the responsibility and practicality. YES, I run the household, YES, I still have to work, and I freaking love it….the impact on womens life, following my dream, and living in the space that I have created.

But when I think about the WHEN/END the IF/THEN games….I need to be curious and challenge those thoughts….what is really holding me back? Do I really need to wait for the dust to settle?

TIME IS A THING…or is it?

I remember my Dad telling me as he got older, and his health was failing, “time flies so fast, with every passing year”. I thought it was because he was sick…..turns out he was just RIGHT!

If we play the game…when the TIME is right, when things slow down, when I have the energy, will IT ever really happen? What are you missing out on? What bliss, joy, happiness, excitement, connection, calm, freedom are you not getting to experience because you are on AUTO PILOT?

I am asking you in this moment….
how do you want to feel, in this life that you live…..

I know for me, living in AUTOPILOT was like this…
one day blended into the next…
so much packed into the schedule…
of course there was amazing moments, and truly moments I have no recollection, cuz I was just there in body….going through the motions.
MOVING so fast to the next thing.

I am going back to I DON’T HAVE TIME…
every single day we are given the gift of 24 hours…..
the only certainty we have…..
the sun rises and sets everyday,
on the days you open your eyes,
put your feet on the floor, the ground, and this sweet earth…
it’s another gift given to you.

I ask you, I invite you to PAUSE, CHOOSE in this moment to see,
to feel that the DUST has SETTLED already….
CREATE that, be that, KNOW that!!
WHAT do you desire? How do you want to live your life?

My wants/desires shift…right now, I am craving CONNECTION like crazy. Connection with myself in this beautiful life that is unfolding for me, as I build, create, and empower. I also want the true conversational kind, the in person kind, the kind that turns inwards with myself. So at 6:00am yesterday morning, I messaged a friend of mine who I have missed like crazy, love her energy, her sweetness, her confidence…and we set up a Facetime….

I did not wait for the DUST TO SETTLE….we were up past 11pm, so late for me, but so worth it. It felt like I was back in highschool chatting with my bestie.

I went to to bed heart full, and my soul nourished, with the girlfriend connection.
Once again, we cannot be everything to everybody all the time. But we can create the life we live, by turning those ‘stolen’ moments into ‘chosen’ moments. And let me tell you it feels amazing the more CHOSEN moments we live.

The dust is clear for you to…trust me, if not TRY IT…..what do you have to lose? Well actually thats another blogpost.

LIVE your life today, without reservation, wonder and be curious about how you want to spend this DAY of your life. AND then tell me about it, message me.

 

What we believe, impacts what we think. THOSE thoughts, the noise, the chatter, the negative self talk, the how come’s, the should and shouldnt’s GUIDE our day, how we FEEL, and ultimately how you live your day, your life.

But where do the stories in our mind come from, do they ever really turn off?
ARE THEY EVEN YOURS?
Are they TRUE?

I have been soooo excited lately because my stress, my worry, the overwhelm that used to consume me….is no longer.

WHY you ask?
Because the worry and axiety were just crappy stories that I CREATED about something that was going to happen in the future. Why was I doing that? Why are you doing that?

What if you shifted the story, changed it, where there is excitement, a positive outcome, or at least neutral experience????

WE are all soooo good about expecting the worse, living a life of overwhelm of getting it all done, not enough time to to do everything. WELL what if our NEW STORY was,

WE DIDN’T have to….that the world would not end, and LETS BE HONEST, we aren’t getting it all done and look how that is serving us???

What if we created a new story.

Here’s an example….
I am heading to Vancouver this weekend with the fam jam for a hockey tournament. Previously the story would have been about worry, about what are we going to eat, anxiety about what restaurants to go to, not wanting to eat out the entire time, what about Johnny and his celiac disease, what will he eat. There is concern that it will be so tiring for the Easter long weekend because it will be go go go, without time to think straight. That I will have to recuperate on Sunday after being exhausted for days AND I have soooo much to do planning for my retreat next week. This makes my body tense up, just typing this.

BUT what if the story shifted…that we get to go to a hotel and have more fun, than worry. That we get to go to the pool with the boys AND have some down time. There will be no cleaning for me to do, no meal prep, especially if I do some before I leave, getting fruits/veggies ready and do some baking for the trip. I might even get to read a book as the boys fall asleep early in the hotel, but I am wide awake. What if I zipped out in the morning for a run or to the fitness centre. AAHHH this doesn’t sound overwhelming at all. How about focusing on the excitement of Matthew having his relatives at the game, scoring goals and living his little dream. Maybe I’ll even get across the street from the hotel to the mall and do a little shopping on my own, or with one of the hockey moms.

SEE how our mind, the stories we attach to our life, can create the life we live. YOU get to choose.
YOU get to listen to the story AND QUIET it down.
NOTICE the whispers or screams and be curious about what you want to experience and CREATE.

YOU and only YOU are responsible for the life you live. DAMN that excites me.
It makes me feel LIGHT, and free. DOES it for you too? Or does it feel HEAVY?

PRACTICE…today…listent to the thoughts that pass through your mind…..ask yourself
IS IT TRUE
IS IT MINE?

and if not, if it’s NOT yours let it go….
if there is some truth to the story…continue the curosity….
HOW IS IT helping you, guiding you, bringing lightness and bliss to your day, your life, your world.

THIS image is right above my kitchen sink…..

EVERYDAY, moments upon moments, as I wash the dishes, as I am connecting and nourishing my body in the kitchen, I am reminded…..

“Go confidently, in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you’ve imagined”
“Oh, the places you go”

THIS is the STORY that I get to create….I turn down the noise, the chatter, and turn up the messages of sweetness, excitement, desire.

AND why wouldn’t I, LIFE is so much more FULL and FREE when I do this….
WHY wouldn’t you try it, experiment….what do you have to lose?
SHITTY and crappy stories lead to worry, stress, overwhelm and anxiety.

You get to choose….
Message me and share what stories are living in your world that you get to shift!!